Dad doesn't want to pay for daughter's dance trip, claims it's just a vacation with her stepdad: 'The trip is about $3K for just my daughter'

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María Cetra • Writer
Jun 12, 2026 12:00 PM EDT

Managing finances can be difficult, but it's almost impossible to avoid disagreements if you have to do it with your ex-wife. 

In this day and age, a lot of divorced parents believe they can simply agree on splitting their children's bills 50/50 and that way they will avoid any kind of disagreement. Well, that is a lie. There is no way you won't discuss money, especially with them.

In the case of this Reddit story, the dad is reluctant about paying for his daughter's dance trip to Ireland, not because it is expensive or because he does not support her. It's not a money issue, in this case, it seems to be more about not being a part of it, being replaced. According to this man, even though he will only be paying for half the trip for his daughter, he doesn't believe that it is fair, as his ex-wife and new husband are going to go as well.

He then explains that even if he doesn't provide the money, his daughter is not going to be missing out on the experience, but if they divide her costs 50/50, is it fair to not participate monetarily for the trip at all? On the other hand, they do have an agreement where mom is the one in charge of paying for all the extra activities. 

The dad does pay $600 a month for child support, as well as $7K extra annually, and her education. But he is also earning $160K a year. This may seem like he has the full means to pay his part, but he is just deciding not to because of some jealousy. He is not paying for his ex-wife or for the stepdad of the child, so is this actually a valid argument to not pay for it?

Some advice he received recommended that the dad check with the dance studio how much exactly the trip costs, so he is sure that he is only paying for his daughter. That way, he can fully support her without paying for something he does not want to. But would this be enough to convince him to pay for it?
 

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  • WIBTAH for not paying for my daughters trip

    A little background before I get fully into it. My ex and I currently have an exact 50/50 split of my daughter. I pay her $600/month child support and fully pay for my daughter's education, which is about 7k a year on top of the child support. Income purposes I make about 160k and shes around 120-130k. She is remarried as well, so is a dual income home. Although I dont expect her new husband to have to pay for my daughter, she does have help with the bills.
    via cruzincoyote
  • A dad and daughter watch a sunset together
    via Brittani Burns

    A dad and daughter spending time together, representative of the ones in the story.

  • We have an agreement that my ex pays for all extra activities. One of those activities is Irish Dance. Her dance studio is going to Ireland next summer, my ex and her husband will be going with my daughter, I will be staying home. The total cost for the trip is about 3k for just my daughter. She wants me to pay for half of it. I haven't made a decision as its still a year away, but I'm leaning towards not giving half because its essentially going to be a vacation for them.
    via cruzincoyote
  • Would I be the a h le for not paying the other half? Edit* my daughter will still be going even if I don't give half. She won't be missing out on it. Edit again** this dance trip is purely cultural, organized by the dance studio. There is no competitions involved.
    via cruzincoyote
  • A family looking at a laptop on the table in front of them as the daughter excitedly responds to what they are seeing on the screen
    via sofatutor

    A model family looking at a laptop on the table in front of them as the daughter excitedly responds to what they are seeing on the screen.

  • LivinTheDream_22 Contact the dance studio and get the exact expenses. Find out what the $3000. covers exactly. This way you know if one parent is going for free or how it works and if this money is 100% for your daughter, etc. If money isn't an option, it may not be worth the battle.
    via cruzincoyote
  • Wildwest21 NTA. No further explanation needed. ↑ 19 ○ Reply
    via cruzincoyote
  • ToBetterDays000 Everyone is hating on OP but tbh I feel like it's fair either way? Ex wife is dual income household that is higher than OP's income, but he's fully covering her education. I know extracurriculars, especially something like dance, is also very expensive but it seems like a reasonable split that is working.
    via cruzincoyote
  • His lack of payment wouldn't be a penalty to his daughter since she'd still be going. So it seems to fall under his ex wife's "extracurriculars" coverage. That said, it comes down to custody arrangement imo, if daughter is staying w exwife then the exwife takes on a lot more other expenses too.
    via cruzincoyote
  • I'd say even if OP doesn't pay, he could give daughter spending allowance or something else to show his support
    via cruzincoyote
  • Icy-Willingness8375 While there is plenty of assholery from the people trying to twist the narrative. to paint you as TAH, you are NTA. There is a clear agreement that your ex covers stuff like this trip, she is capable of paying it and seemingly is asking in hopes you'll subsidize a nicer vacation for her and her husband. F that.
    via cruzincoyote

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divorced dancer finances financial support parents blended family stepdad
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